Table Manners and Dining Etiquette

Before the Dinner

When invited to dine with someone, it is courteous to respond, even if an RSVP is not specifically requested, as it assists with planning. It is inappropriate to inquire about bringing additional guests if the invitation does not extend the offer. However, if your family has been invited to someone’s home for dinner, it is acceptable to ask if your children are also included. If they are, make sure your children know good manners before they go.

If you are invited to dine at the home of a friend, it is a good idea to bring a host or hostess some gift as a token of appreciation. However, it’s important to note that your gift may not necessarily be used during the meal. Many dinner parties feature carefully curated menu items, and your gift may not be suited for the occasion.

And foremost, it is never appropriate to be late for a dinner party or any other social event without prior agreement with the host. Being punctual is a sign of respect and consideration for your host and other guests. Additionally, it is also impolite to arrive early as you may interrupt the host’s preparations. It is recommended to arrive on time or a few minutes early, but never late without prior communication with the host.

The Napkin

Once you arrive, wait to be seated and then take your seat, following the lead of your host or the most senior guest at the table. If there are no assigned seats, it is best to wait for your host to tell you where to sit.

Upon sitting down, it’s appropriate to look to your host or hostess for guidance on when to start dining. When the host unfolds their napkin, it’s customary to retrieve your own napkin from the table or plate and place it on your lap. If you are dining in a restaurant, it is customary to place your napkin on your lap immediately after being seated. The napkin should be folded in half with the fold facing towards you. Use the napkin throughout the meal to blot your mouth or fingers as needed, but avoid using it to wipe your face or blowing your nose.

Throughout the meal, it is customary to keep your napkin in your lap. If you need to excuse yourself from the table at any point but intend to return, place your napkin on either side of your plate. Once you have finished your meal, place your napkin on the table to the left of your plate as a signal to the server that you have concluded your dining.

The Basics

In some cultures, it is customary to offer a blessing. Even if you do not share the same beliefs, it is important to demonstrate respect and remain silent. If the host proposes a toast, raise your glass as a gesture of acknowledgement. It is not obligatory to make physical contact with another person’s glass by clinking them together.

When dining out, it is considered polite to wait until all members of your group have been served before beginning to eat. When dining at a private dinner, it is advisable to follow the lead of the host or hostess and begin eating when they do. However, when dining at a buffet, you may start eating once others at your table have been seated.

When food is served at the table during dinners, it is customary to pass the dishes in a counter-clockwise direction. It is considered impolite to reach across the table for anything; instead, politely request that condiments be passed by the person closest to them. Salt and pepper should always be passed together. When serving yourself, be sure to use the provided utensils rather than your own to lift food from the serving dish.

A frequent source of confusion among modern diners is determining which utensil to use for each course. A helpful guideline to follow is to begin with the utensil farthest from your plate and progress toward the center of your place setting.

Some Essential Rules

Your mobile phone should not be placed on the table. Prior to sitting down, it is advisable to put it on silent mode. It is considered impolite to engage in phone calls or text messaging while in the company of others.
Refrain from talking with your mouth full as it is considered unappealing. Even if someone poses a question, it is courteous to wait until you have swallowed before responding.
It is considered offensive to add salt, pepper, or other seasonings before tasting your food. Doing so may be perceived as an insult to the host or hostess.
Break your bread into bite-sized portions and butter only one piece at a time.
Hold stemmed glasses by the stem.
Avoid swallowing a whole glass of water, wine or any other drink in one go. Drink in small sips.
Do not cut all of your food before beginning to eat. Cut one or two bites at a time instead.
Do not blow on hot food; wait a few minutes for it to cool down.
When eating soup, scoop it away from you.
“Finger foods” should be eaten based on the lead of the host or hostess.
Rather than bending your head over the plate to get as close as possible to the food, it’s important to bring the food to your mouth using the cutlery correctly.
Keep your elbows off the table and place the hand you are not using in your lap.
Try at least one or two bites of every dish on your plate, except for those that you may be allergic to.
If you enjoy the food, compliment the host or hostess, but avoid voicing your opinion if you dislike it.
Use utensils for eating only, not for gesturing.
Eat slowly and pace yourself to finish approximately at the same time as the host or hostess.
Avoid making unpleasant sounds such as burping at the table.
If a spill occurs at a restaurant, summon one of the servers to assist. If a spill transpires at a private dinner party hosted in someone’s home, pick up and blot the spill. Offer to have the spill professionally cleaned if necessary.
When you are done eating, leave your utensils on your plate or in your bowl.
Do not use toothpicks or dental floss at the table.
It is acceptable to reapply lipstick, but refrain from freshening your other makeup at the table.

After the Meal

Once you finish your meal, partially fold your napkin and place it to the left of your plate. Wait for the host or hostess to signal that the meal is over before standing up. It’s impolite to leave immediately. If there are no other plans for the evening, it’s best to stay for about an hour. Remember to thank the host for the dinner. In a more casual setting, it’s appropriate to offer to help with the clean-up.